If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
