But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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