drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
