i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
