Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
