Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
