i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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