my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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