My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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