omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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