it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
