Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
