I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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