What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
