watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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