Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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