I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
