I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
