1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
