so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
