i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
