I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
