SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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