drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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