if you like me you must not know who I am
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
