I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
