so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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