i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
