There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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