wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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