I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
