Pappa wants mamma naked
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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