The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
