I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
