i may or may not be watching the land before time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
