Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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