ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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