I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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