just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
