i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
that's an acceptable place to lick
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
