I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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