Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
