Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
