I feel great
I just peed on a car
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
