hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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