therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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