I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
high people should be assigned attendants
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
