don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
