I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
