Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just had sex on a roof
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
