We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
