I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize