Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
