it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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