I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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