My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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