I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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