Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she smelled like a LAN party
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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