**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
My feet surprised me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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