I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
