Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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