So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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