Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
